Mud and mindgames

Today I took the first steps on my path to meditative running. Weather conditions were excellent for learning purposes. Rain drops were hitting my face with all the power that wind could give them and trails were so muddy that my feet got wet after couple of first steps. I knew that if I would skip this run our dogs would not leave me in peace in the evening. So off we go.

My goal was to run a couple of miles and practice meditation. Well, you could compare my attempts to a small child holding the edge of a table feet wobbling. After every release and attempted step he would fall on his butt.

My first strategy was to concentrate on breathing. I would count exhale...1 inhale...2 exhale...3 all the way to ten and then start again from 1. Did not work. After three or four I would find myself thinking about the topic of the blog, what to feed the dogs with, why I cannot concentrate on this, how long will it take to master this... Then I remembered the Zen-method where you name the thought that disturbs you and let it go. Then I found myself thinking what would be the best name for each of these thoughts. Should I now name the difficulty of naming the thoughts? I also had problems letting the named thoughts go. They obviously did not know where to go and I could not help them.

After a while I noticed that counting affects my breathing rhythm and makes running difficult. I changed my strategy and started to concentrate on the moment when my right foot hits the ground. I started counting my steps. That caused another problem. My breathing which I had been counting started to follow my counting of steps. Needless to say that was not a good thing. I started to breath with the top of my lungs and got exhausted. How can this be so difficult? Maybe I am one of those persons who cannot chew gum and walk at the same time without getting into dangerous situations.

Despite all the problems towards the end of the run I started to get first glimpses of where this could take me. For a few subsequent steps I could free my mind from any thoughts. That was great! It reminded me of the best moments of my athlete years.Next time I can do better...maybe...if I do not come up excuses why not to run.

Buddha: A jug fills drop by drop.

Excuses, excuses, excuses

Running is, or at least it should be, natural for the human race. For some reason it is a lot easier for us to sit or lie lazy enjoying the comfort of the couch or La-Z-Boy.


Like many of my friends, I am a master of inventing excuses why today is not a good day for a run. For years I have struggled with knee and ankle injuries. These to me are valid reasons not to run and they have kept me away from trails and pavements. I got recently rid of these annoyances by simply changing my running shoes to "barefootshoes" (Merrell Trail glove). I learned a healthier gait and got pain free feet! After that I threw my old cushioned sneakers to trash can. Well this is not the point of this blog and I believe that there are runners who benefit from cushioned running shoes. Naturally I was ecstatic. Now I could run everyday if I felt like it! 


Despite all the magic the shoes had they could not remove my capability to come up with new excuses. Sometimes I could even convince myself that this is not a good week for running. I can't understand this since I love the feeling I get from a run, I enjoy the nature and I do not have any pain. All should be well then. Why do I need the excuses? Am I lazy? Is there something similar for the brain as the "barefootshoes" were for my feet? 


Maybe there is a cure. I found this book (pictured) from our public library. I decided to read it through and see if the author Larry Shapiro could help me. There is something compelling in eastern philosophies and especially Zen has always intrigued me. Maybe it is the introverted nature of meditation that suits my Finnish personality. As an ex-athlete I also value things like listening to yourself and living in the moment. In the hectic western society it is difficult to empty the blackboard of your mind and give the small things possibility to create a mark in your memory. It is a lot easier to look at the blackboard drawn full by the numerous stimuli that we get from our environment. Anyone or anything can draw a new mark to that blackboard without us being able to even notice let alone remember it. We are not able to select the things that stick to our mind unless we are able to empty the blackboard. This way the small often enjoyable moments just slip by. At least for me it is common to dwell on things that either have happened or might happen in the future, the only things I cannot affect right now. It is very difficult to live in the moment.


Reason why I am writing this blog is to record my attempt to get rid of the excuses stopping me from running. Everything starts from recognizing my excuses. It is comforting to understand that even if I fail I might learn something.

Buddha: It is better to travel well than to arrive